I wrote Poem 25 two days ago using a different process than almost everything else on the Lovemekanism.org Arts and Humanities blog. The difference is that I wrote it with no intention on sharing it... ever. I do write whatever comes, but I admit that I had to check my artistic integrity with this one. It's important to me to write all art in first person (not that there is anything wrong with third person or passive voice in art). It just is who I am as an artist.
Through the lens of love, I can finally consider this aspect of addiction through the eyes of another human being. Most people have been addicted to one thing or another and dealing with the dehumanizing and sometimes sobering affects an inability to control oneself. Most adults come to understand that we can't "control" others, but it must be devastating to find yourself in a habit so destructive you cannot control yourself. Then to humble yourself in an already vulnerable state to ask someone else for help- don't get me started on that one. No, I don't understand all emotions, but I refuse to ignore that those emotions-- even I can understand.
Like my other poem that uses drugs as a simile for love, it was also inspired by other art. Perhaps my subconscious pulled the rest from love and life emotions observed, lived, and of course that which is resonated through all forms of art. Like most of my other 23 publicly shared poems, Poem 25 is loaded, and I am happy to have shared it with you.
It was more important that I not taper down the story or edit out the emotions, the references that spoke to me for this piece, or the message. This can be a thing for me at times; I work everyday as an artist and human being, and I'm very proud of this one, but just as proud--possibly moreso to have been able to keep that artistic integrity without letting myself get in the way of purely delivering the art.
Enjoy Poem 25: Relapsing
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